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Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers at Births

Why would a father NOT want to be at the birth of their child?
This article is not to judge, just to explore the decisions...


I assume it could be for different reasons;

maybe he is squeamish- in this case, could he at least "try" to hang in there?
I have seen a father practically pass out when the baby was delivered, but he made it through!

maybe he is "old school"- from a day & time when fathers waited outside in the hall... are there fathers this old much though?

maybe he is out-of-town or deployed- he wants to be there, but physically cannot. Webcam, maybe?

What are some other reasons a father may choose to not be in the home/room when their child is born? Seemingly, they will all be 'legitimate' reasons, as NO feelings are wrong! Feedback, please...


Kelly K, CD (CBI)

3 comments:

Toni said...

I was reading an article about the chef Gordon Ramsey and he was quoted as saying he did not attend the births of his children because he wouldn't find his wife sexy any longer if he saw the baby emerge. :P Too bad... he came across as a very hands-on dad on his show The F-Word (food) when he and his kids raised their own livestock.

jakesask said...

After watching the birth documentary "Le Premier Cri" in a university geography class, a male student expressed to me that he doesn't think men should attend births because they don't know what it is to be a woman or to have a woman's body. He felt that men are inherently incapable of providing support in the way that women can. In Le Premier Cri, births are shown in 10 different societies across the globe (including places where there is no medical care available). Overwhelmingly, men are excluded from the births, and the birthing woman is instead supported by a group of women. My student said he'd HAVE to be at his wife's birth because she'd be really mad at him if he wasn't there, but that fundamentally he feels he has no place being present with a birthing woman.

Paper on Steroids said...

Yes, I understand his stance. With the woman surrounded by females, say, in a home birth, he is highly outnumbered. I have been at a homebirth with 3 midwives, one doula, 2 female friends...
wow.
But, it is all about what the mother wants. This is her time, her family's time to decide what is best for them.
Personally, I view it as a privilege to see this amazing process unfold. Men maybe not so much... hhhmmmm....