Fathers at Births

Why would a father NOT want to be at the birth of their child?
This article is not to judge, just to explore the decisions...


I assume it could be for different reasons;

maybe he is squeamish- in this case, could he at least "try" to hang in there?
I have seen a father practically pass out when the baby was delivered, but he made it through!

maybe he is "old school"- from a day & time when fathers waited outside in the hall... are there fathers this old much though?

maybe he is out-of-town or deployed- he wants to be there, but physically cannot. Webcam, maybe?

What are some other reasons a father may choose to not be in the home/room when their child is born? Seemingly, they will all be 'legitimate' reasons, as NO feelings are wrong! Feedback, please...


Kelly K, CD (CBI)

The Other Side of the Glass - the trailer

Empowering new movie for FATHERS in the hospital delivery room! Please watch!

I could only find that it will be released "early 2009" on their site.

Postpartum Doulas & Dads

I am training to be a postpartum doula, which means that I am studying to get certified, though no certification is needed, btw... I found this interesting article on how Postpartum Doulas can help the dads transition to new fatherhood, as well as the mom.

excerpt:

"
The importance of the father.s involvement and support during the weeks following birth
cannot be overstated. During this time he truly becomes a parent, getting to know this
tiny yet complete person who has entered his family. The doula can ease this
introduction, helping the father to discover all he can about his baby, as well as
developing his own concept of himself as a parent. In addition, the doula.s support can
help parents to adjust their own relationship, moving forward to enhance their previous
life together as a couple who are now parents.
The role of the doula is to help the family experience success."

Doulas are for DADS, too!

Doulas are for Dads, too!


As a doula, part of the work that I do is fostering the relationship that the couple has.

Part of the beauty of this work is that we can really help the dads to have a better birth experience too and also give them the opportunity to support his partner is his own way, whether that be right in there in the thick of it all, or in a more back of the scenes way.

The moms don't have to get upset at their partners when he just doesn't seem to know what to do because we are there guiding him while we serve both of them.

I don't think the dads are giving over their role at all. I do find, however, that at some point during labor even the most actively supportive dads step back just a bit into a more protective role and allow the "women's work of birth" to take over. Most of the time when this happens it is as labor becomes very active, just before full dilation when it can get very intense. They always come right back to it when she is pushing.

There was some study done, maybe by Klaus and Kennell showing that moms who have doulas and their spouses with them feel closer to their spouses after the birth than those who don't have doulas.
A good doula makes the dad look like a hero!